Thursday, August 16, 2018

Sleep Talk

- Attempted to snuggle with him and he said, "Don't make me put you in time out"


- One night he farted, woke up enough to giggle about it and then fell right back asleep.



- "Waffles! No Pankcakes"



( To Be Updated )

Issues

Snotty sob fest over something random...

"Mommy, I need tissues for my issues."

Car Ride

Dorian: Can I eat this?
Meia: What is that? Where did you get that?
Dorian: *impatient sigh* Can I eat it?
Meia: If you found that in the back seat... It's probably really old.
Dorian: *stares*
Meia: I really wouldn't eat that if I were you
Dorian: I want to eat it, not you
Meia: *stares*
Dorian: So... can I eat it?
Meia: NO!

Thankful

Thanksgiving project for school


What are you thankful for:
Kid1: Mommy and daddy
Kid 2: My family and toys
Kid 3: Mommy and pets


My kid...... wait for it... TURKEY

Monday, June 26, 2017

When your child just can't censor


Old People

"You're really old."
"Have you lost your teeth?"
"You have a lot of stripes!" (referring to wrinkles)

Overweight People

"Mommy! Look! He's really fat!" (that is, in fact, a woman -_-)
"Wow, you're really BIG." (after multiple conversations regarding not calling ppl fat)
"You must be really strong. You are so big" (to a woman *facepalm*)

Last but not least...

"Mommy, my penis is getting bigger!"
(all while a guy in the aisle is dying of laughter - like straight losing it - as I'm trying to explain that certain conversations aren't for public places)

I just...can't.

Monday, June 12, 2017

Penguin Girl


Dorian: She's only a little fat...
Me: Dorian! You shouldn't say that!
Dorian: When she walks, she waddles like a penguin
*huge grin and giggle*
Me: Please tell me you haven't said that to her
Dorian: What? She does!
*facepalm*

Sleep Talk

- Attempted to snuggle with him and he said, "Don't make me put you in time out" - One night he farted, woke up enough ...