Sleep Talk

- Attempted to snuggle with him and he said, "Don't make me put you in time out"

- One night he farted, woke up enough to giggle about it and then fell right back asleep.

- "Waffles! No Pankcakes"

( To Be Updated )

Issues

Snotty sob fest over something random...

"Mommy, I need tissues for my issues."

Car Ride

Dorian: Can I eat this?
Meia: What is that? Where did you get that?
Dorian: *impatient sigh* Can I eat it?
Meia: If you found that in the back seat... It's probably really old.
Dorian: *stares*
Meia: I really wouldn't eat that if I were you
Dorian: I want to eat it, not you
Meia: *stares*
Dorian: So... can I eat it?
Meia: NO!

Thankful

Thanksgiving project for school


What are you thankful for:
Kid1: Mommy and daddy
Kid 2: My family and toys
Kid 3: Mommy and pets


My kid...... wait for it... TURKEY

When your child just can't censor

Old People

"You're really old."

"Have you lost your teeth?"

"You have a lot of stripes!" (referring to wrinkles)

Overweight People

"Mommy! Look! He's really fat!" (that is, in fact, a woman -_-)

"Wow, you're really BIG." (after multiple conversations regarding not calling ppl fat)

"You must be really strong. You are so big" (to a woman *facepalm*)

Last but not least...

"Mommy, my penis is getting bigger!"

(all while a guy in the aisle is dying of laughter - like straight losing it - as I'm trying to explain that certain conversations aren't for public places)

I just...can't.

Penguin Girl

Dorian: She's only a little fat...
Me: Dorian! You shouldn't say that!
Dorian: When she walks, she waddles like a penguin
*huge grin and giggle*
Me: Please tell me you haven't said that to her
Dorian: What? She does!
*facepalm*